The Importance of Words, Actions, and Respect

Language
Words are important. Words and phrases shape our perceptions. While it is common to use labels to describe many things, using labels to describe individuals or groups of people detracts from who a person really is - a unique person with their own wants, needs, hopes, and dreams.

Just as no one person is like another, no person with a disability is the same as another, even if he or she has the same disability. People with disabilities are people first. While disabilities are part of their lives, their disability does not define them. Always use people-first language. Refer to the person first and not his or her disability. Do not say "a disabled person." Instead, refer to "a person with a disability."

• Never group individuals together as "the developmentally disabled," which puts the focus on the disability, not on the individual.
• Avoid emotional and sensational words. People with disabilities are often thought of as inspirational and courageous, or pitiful and in need of charity. Both extremes are erroneous stereotypes.
• Be sensitive when choosing words. The reality is that people with disabilities do not succeed "in spite of" their disabilities. They succeed "in spite of" an inaccessible and discriminatory society. They do not "overcome" their disabilities so much as "overcome" prejudice.
• Use nonjudgmental terms and phrases that offer dignity and respect.

Actions and Respect
Just as important as words, are actions - how we interact with and treat people, regardless of their situation in life or what disability they may have. Treat people with disabilities and their families as you would want to be treated – with respect, dignity, and courtesy.

• Don't be so focused on a person's disability that you don't see the person.
• Focus on the person's capabilities.
• Don't be afraid to ask questions when you're unsure of what to do.
• Listen to the person, or when appropriate, the person's family or guardian.
• Talk directly with the person with a disability; use eye contact and speak directly to that person rather than through a companion or sign language interpreter.
• Offer assistance if asked or if the need is obvious. If you offer assistance, wait until the offer is accepted. Then listen to or ask for instructions. Do not insist or be offended if your offer is not accepted.
• Treat adults as adults. Address people who have disabilities by their first names only when extending the same familiarity to others. Likewise, use full name when appropriate.

Cognitive

• When talking with a person with a cognitive disability, if you are in a public area with many distractions, consider moving to a quieter location. Be prepared to repeat what you say, orally or in writing.
• Be patient, flexible and supportive. Take time to understand the person and make sure the person understands you.
• You may need to ask questions which require only short answers or a nod of the head. Provide extra time for decision-making.
• Do not "over-assist" or be patronizing.

Speech

• Listen attentively when you're talking with a person who has difficulty speaking. Be patient and wait for the person to finish, rather than correcting or speaking for the person. If necessary, ask short questions that require short answers, a nod or shake of the head. Never pretend to understand if you do not. Instead, repeat what you have understood and allow the person to respond.
• Concentrate on what the person is saying. Do not speak for the individual or attempt to finish her or his sentences.
• If you are having difficulty understanding what the person is saying, consider writing as an alternative, but first ask if this is acceptable.

Mobility

• When speaking with a person who uses a wheelchair or a person who uses crutches, place yourself at eye level in front of the person.
• Never patronize people who use wheelchairs by patting them on the head or shoulder.
• Do not lean on a wheelchair or any other assistive device.
• Do not assume the individual wants to be pushed - ask first.
• When meeting a person who is visually impaired, identify yourself and others who may be with you.

Hearing

• To get the attention of a person who is deaf, tap the person on the shoulder or wave your hand.
• Look directly at the person and speak clearly and slowly to determine if the person can read your lips. Be sensitive to those who lip read by facing the light source and keeping hands and food away from your mouth.
• Do not assume a person with a hearing or speech impairment has a cognitive disability.

Working in a Person's or Family's Home

• If you are working in a family home or residential home, remember that it is the individual's or family's home, not yours.
• Treat each person in the household as you would like to be treated, with respect.
• Do not walk in without knocking.
• Do not change television or radio channels or play music without asking.
• Do not use the phone without permission, or call long distance. If you answer the phone, just say, "Hello, Cathy speaking."
• Do not answer with a label for the house, like "Main Street."
• Do not answer the phone while talking to a family member.
• Listen to what people with disabilities have to say. They know themselves; and know how they want to be treated, and what does and does not work for them. What they can share is important to their well being, safety, and quality of life.
• Listen to what families or guardians say. They have known their loved one much longer than you. Family members know their loved one's likes and dislikes, what works and what doesn't. What family members know and can share is important to their loved one's well being, safety, and quality of life.
• Do not assume people with disabilities and families know everything. Do not use acronyms without an explanation. Use terminology that is understandable, not therapy language etc.
• Explain what you are planning to do and why you are planning to do it. Ask for input and ideas from the person or family.
• Do not treat family member or adults with disabilities as if they were a child. Do not speak down to them. Explain in a respectful, non-condescending manner.
• Do not talk about the person as if they were not there.
• Be respectful of the culture and habits of the home.
• Be considerate of the feelings and privacy of people with disabilities and family members.
• Do not talk in a negative way about the person with a disability or family to others.
• Do not share private things – negative or positive - that may take place in a family's home or a person with a disability's home with others. Think first, would you want what you may say being said about you?