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Why Every Leader Needs to Listen: The Power of Questions and the Courage to Understand

August 8, 2025 A Time for Hope, Marya Patrice Sherron

The whiteboard squeaked beneath my marker: “What makes a great leader?” The answers came quickly—bold, confident, brave, honest, funny. Year after year, classroom after classroom, the words changed—but the pattern stayed the same. The one word I believed mattered most—listening—never made the board.

Why is that? We often define leadership by volume. Big voices. Big presence. Big personalities.
But here’s the truth I’ve learned after years of teaching, mentoring, parenting, and leading:
“You cannot lead me if you haven’t heard me.” 
And before leaders listen, they must ask better questions. Not surface questions or quick check-ins, but thoughtful ones that make space for truth, even when that truth is uncomfortable.

Leadership Skills Begin with Listening 

Throughout my career, I’ve been honored with recognition as an educator. But the greatest measure of success isn’t on a plaque—it’s in a student’s eyes when they finally feel seen. When asked to define my teaching philosophy, my answer has always been simple:
If I always remember that I teach people, not subjects, I will always connect with my audience.
That truth grounds every lesson plan, every meeting, every conversation. Because if I’m teaching without connection, I’m not really teaching. And if you’re leading without listening, you’re not really leading.

Listening Isn’t Just for Schools – It’s a Leadership Skill for Everyone 

While the start of school is a central theme right now, this message goes far beyond classrooms.
This is a call to every leader—parents, youth coaches, legislators, nonprofit directors, pastors, community organizers, and policy makers. If your words shape decisions… if your voice influences others… if people look to you for guidance—you are a leader. And the heart of leadership is not speaking.

It’s listening.

You don’t need a title to lead well. You don’t need a classroom to teach compassion. You don’t need a stage to be influential. What you do need is the courage to pause, to ask better questions, and to genuinely seek to understand someone else’s experience—especially when it’s different from your own.

Because listening is not passive. It is an act of presence, of humility, and of power.
When parents listen without rushing to fix…
When city leaders listen to the families impacted by their policies…
When coaches listen to the tears behind a missed practice…
When a legislator listens to the people most affected by a law…
That is leadership at its highest form.

Listening to Students, Staff and Communities 

Whether in a classroom, a boardroom, or across a dinner table—people are speaking.
Every day. The question is: are we listening to understand?

They speak through their clothing choices, their headphones, their silence.
Through tardiness and test anxiety.
Through falling asleep in a meeting or skipping a gathering altogether.
Our actions tells a story.
I’ve always loved the quote: “Every behavior is a form of communication.” And when we pause long enough to truly hear what’s underneath the action, we begin to see the why—not just the what.
I remember one student who always sat in the back, hoodie pulled tight, head down. He failed every quiz, but never missed a day. When I finally asked what he needed, he whispered, “I just want someone to believe I’m smart.” Sometimes it’s a quiet cry for help. Sometimes it’s a declaration:

“I have autism. I’m not broken.”
“This wheelchair doesn’t define me.”
“English is my second language. I’m not dumb.”
“I’m more than an athlete.”

If we only measure performance and miss the person, we fail to lead.
If we teach the subject but forget the student, we miss the heart of the work.
And if we’re only listening to respond—not to understand—we’re not really listening at all.
Ask. Listen. Lead.  

As the first-day photos fill our feeds and supply lists get checked off, I invite every teacher, parent, mentor, administrator, activist, and policymaker to consider this:

What’s your classroom, boardroom, home, or community trying to tell you?
Have you asked the kind of questions that make room for honesty?
Have you created space for someone to say, “I’m struggling,” or “This doesn’t feel safe,” or
“I need help”?

The most effective leaders are not the loudest. They’re not always the boldest.
They are the ones who slow down long enough to ask, listen, and respond with empathy.
So before you teach, discipline, coach, legislate, or correct—pause.
Ask.
Listen.
Then lead.
And maybe, just maybe, start this season by writing one word in big bold letters across your board, your journal, or your agenda:
Listen.
Listening Matters: Leadership & Data

  • Students who feel heard thrive. According to the Search Institute (2018), only 29% of students say they have a strong relationship with a teacher—but those who do are 5x more likely to be resilient, and more likely to stay engaged in school.

  • Behavior = communication. The American Psychological Association affirms that challenging behaviors often stem from trauma, anxiety, or unmet emotional needs—not defiance.

  • Connection improves outcomes. Schools that implement strong social-emotional learning practices see a 13% gain in academic achievement and a drop in absenteeism and behavior referrals
    (CASEL, 2023).

Resources for Listening Leaders: 
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